Alone At Last

For 18 years it is the moment I have been waiting for, dreaming about and planning for. And it is not the invention of chocolate flavored vegetables, though that would be nice. I am alone, by myself, solo, unattended, unaccompanied, and apart from my loved ones for 5.5 hours, 5 days a week, except for holidays.

We recently dropped off our beautiful, talented, couldn't wait to get away from home, 18 year old daughter, at college. Dropped off meaning, unpacked her belongings, left her no car and said see you at Thanksgiving. We were all ready for the departure, especially her 14 year old sister who wants to replace her with a bunny. Though I miss her face, the seperation has helped us love each other again :) To say she is loving her independence is an understatement.

And shortly following the milestone of sending our oldest to college, we sent our baby, our unplanned bundle of little boy energy, to kindergarten. All day kindergarten. 8:30 am to 3 am. No half-days. All day, everyday, 5 days a week except for holidays. Bye-bye. Love you. Make good choices.

Yes I have had kids in pre-school and have had my moments of silence. But this new found silence is special. It is 5.5 hours of special. Friends have asked if I was sad or lonely, etc.... Should I lie? Am I supposed to be broken up? Because I am not. I will admit, the first couple of days I missed my babies face and kisses but then when he came home with all the other munchkins, I got my fill.

So am I going back to school? Getting a job? There have been inquiries to that effect. Ummmm let me think about that. A maybe to the first and a no to the second. I am happy as a clam right now. Days that I thought might me filled with naps and Lifetime movies, are not so much. I do make lists and linger my way down them. I eat what I want without questions and jump in the car without having to tell 5 kids whom should be watching whom and when I will be back. It is really quite heavenly.

So no, I won't go back to school yet, but one of these days, I will go back to bed. Because I can.

Mid-Life Obsession

A year ago I was fine. I was your normal, mature mom, chastising my teenagers for spending so much time on the computer. Specifically on their, MyFace, Spacebook, whatever. Then I decided I probably needed to see what they were up to. But I was not a member. Fine. I will become a Facebook member just so I can see my kids pages. And that is all she wrote. Less than a year later I have over 250 "friends" and a daily habit of seeing what those friends are up to. I feel more like a 14 yr old than I did when I was 14!

I love looking at peoples pictures, seeing what they are up to on a daily basis, and commenting on their lives.  It keeps me connected to "adults" during the day and helps me to see my life is  not much different than everyone else.  I especially love finding "old" friends.  Searching for people is the FB equivalent of drunk dialing.  Finding old boyfriends and high school buddies is easier when you are really tired and slap happy and feel you have nothing to lose. You see their face and think, will they remember me?  You make a comment before requesting them as a friend, just in case.  No one wants a friend rejection, even at age 42. You exchange pleasantries at first and catch up on the last 20 years then, nothing.  But that's okay because they are now your "friend" and you know how to find them!  

Then there are my die hard FB friends that I see on a daily basis in cyberspace.  They are all from such different times and places in my life.   But they all "get" me  and we enjoy our FB friendships. Sarcasm, humor, disappointments and achievements can all be "virtually" felt.  I actually feel more connected to my family and friends because I know what is going on in their lives.  It keeps me from having to call 20 to 30 people a week  and I can wish a happy birthday without having to go to a Hallmark store.  

And yes I can check in on my kids.  But, I am discovering, they can also check up on me!

House Callls

Last weekend I got to stay in bed for 2 days. Not the fun kind of staying in bed either. I had a "tummy ache". I will spare you the gory details. It was not pretty. So I let my husband sleep through my first night of travail and in the morning he found he had his first patient of the day next to him in bed.
Now, I am not going to lie. Living with a doctor does have its benefits. And my doctor does have a great bedside manner. Within minutes I had all the necessary "anti-tummy-ache" drugs at my fingertips to combat my sick germs. And then, because I also sleep with this man I had the added benefit of him taking care of my kids all weekend and letting me sleep. Ahhhh......
So you see, I know how to take advantage of having a doctor that makes house calls. My kids on the other hand do not. There was something wired into my kid's brain's at birth that tells them mom can fix everything. It doesn't matter if we spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on dad's education. It doesn't matter that people pay money to see their dad, for problems way more serious than their paper cut. It doesn't matter that a doctor with years of training and test taking is sitting right next to me when they say "mom, it hurts when I do this." My response, "talk to the hand, you're talking to the wrong parent."
Yes it should be flattering and part of the joys of motherhood when your kids still think you know everything. And since I now have 3 teenagers in the house, I so wish that was still the case. But when it comes to medical matters, I don't want to know anything. I paid the best years of my life supporting a husband in his dreams, so I would not have to know anything.

So they had better figure out they have a doctor that makes house calls, before they bleed to death from their paper cut.

Low Lying Stars

So at the beginning of every year, like a lot of other people, we sit down with our family and set goals.  First we look at last years goals and see what we accomplished.  Last year the goals were everything from. learning to go on the potty (done...YEA!) to getting straight A"S (also done!).  I looked at mine and realized I had not completed one thing!  I started out with good intentions but lost steam about January 2 I believe.  I did not run a marathon or get 6 pack abs.  I did not read the unabridged version of  Les Miserable.  I did not save $20,000 in a high yield money market account or organize my craft closet. 

So when my husband asked what I was  going to shoot for this year, I said "the same old crap."  So this year I am going to be more realistic.   Like if the kids are alive and healthy at the end of the year, that is one down.  If my husband did not leave me because of my extreme moodiness, that is another mission accomplished.  If drive by the gym, 2 times a week, working up to 3, then I am getting closer.  And if I finish one Readers Digest cover to cover, then I am on my way!

 So as the kids set their goals of getting into collage this year, getting an Eagle Scout award and learning to write the alphabet, I will be satisfied reaching my low lying stars.