Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Apparently this is what I look like...

I did not sleep well last night.  My mind was too busy.  I was haunted.  Haunted by Mother's Day.  Not that it was not perfect, because it was.  My family, from Hubby on down, are so good to me.  I beat them into submission years ago and on Mommy Christmas Mother's Day, they are putty in my hands.  Breakfast in bed, 2 hour nap, dinner made, dishes done (with no working dishwasher)  gifts and cards.  Ah yes, the cards.  Apparently this is what I look like, according to 8 yr old Coltito...


That is me, in a mirror.  Uncanny isn't it?  I did not know my freckles stilled showed up so much at age 43 or that the orthodontist forgot to take my braces off 25 years ago.  And apparently crayons add on 20 lbs.  I am trying not to take it personally.  His dimpled little face was so sweet and sincere when he gave it to me.  It just haunts me in my sleep.  He also gave me $2.00.  But NOT in $1.00 bills or pennies as any other 8 year old would do.  It was in the form of a crisp $2.00 bill (it looks very similar to the one his Grammy gave him for HIS birthday).  And you bet your rabbit pooped shaped ice it will be used at a Sonic drive thru this week.  

My 5 year old Jar-Bear also drew me a pic.  



I nervously asked if it was supposed to be me.  He looked at me like, you silly woman, of course not!  It was a monster.  Obviously.  Had to ask right?

15 year old Sassy included this cartoon in her card to me...



Darn! It reveals the location of the secret cape of all mom's everywhere!  She made me a Supermom emblem to wear around my neck so I don't have to pull out the cape all the time.  

My 16 year old Man/Boy finished the festivities with his OWN words to Ke$ha's "Tik Tok" 
(Apparently spelling things correctly is mute after you're famous.  So after I have over 1000 followers on my blog I throw all spell check to the wind).  

I happened to know and like the song  (because I am age inappropriate like that) and my white boy  rapper did me proud!  (You need to read it with the tune in your head)


Wake up in the morning feeling like Medusa
Grab the children I'm out the door headed to Cumorah
Before I leave I make some lunches, grab myself a bottle of water
Cause Living in Las Vegas couldn't get any hotter

I'm talkin' crap my AC just went out, out!
Do the little boys have to shout, shout?!
If they keep it up I'll kick them out, out!
I mean it!
Can't find the boys favorite CD's
Oh well, we're already here you see!
Trying to keep my sanity...

Make it stop! Look at the clock! 
It's still too early for me to talk
On no what's that?  A lunch sack!
Someone forgot it in the back
But I'm not drivin' back. It's their fault for being clumsy
It's not like I'm their mother! Well, I kinda am their mother!

I'm home, finally 
Did I just step in dog pee??
Who made this mess, I confess
This really fills me up with stress
I never signed, up for this
Can I call myself in sick??
Nope, cause I'm the mother. It's hard to be the mother!

Kids build me up, they break me down
My head it pounds
This is getting to me
Can't take much more, who's at the door?? The Kids!
I can't believe it's four already!
Kids build me up, I'm breaking down
At least I get to blog about it
I lock myself, inside my room
I need some rest  before I go BOOM!
Now the headache didn't start till the kids came home

Make it stop! Look at the clock!
Better find out whose head I have to knock
Cook some food, "TanMan don't be rude!"
I'm seriously not in the mood
Dad walks in, FINALLY
Now the kids will meet their doom!

It's bed time now, holy cow
I still have to do the dishes
I guess it's all part of being a mother. I think I need MY mother!


Yea, he's pretty fly for a white guy.  Talented too.  So I need to keep THAT tune in my head whenever THAT picture of me pops in at 4:30 in the morning.  

Linda

23 comments:

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Oh dang! Maybe I should move my cape to a different location.

And you're right, the picture is uncanny. :D

Lisa said...

Oh my crud, that is B.E.A.UTIFUL! I'm so jealous that the 4th grade pencil holder/spaghettios can didn't have a picture of ME from my daughter. Course, she draws everyone as a princess, or a slut. At least she knows the difference. Nice rap.

sarah said...

That picture truely is amazing, looks exactly like you! LOL
So cute! Both of them!

Actually there wasnt much about that whole post that wasnt cute, and your little white rapper has mad skillz yo!

Heather said...

Absolutely awesome.
Great lyrics. Love it :)

Funky Mama Bird said...

Those are some awesome pictures! I can't wait until I get some of my own. =)

Much More Than Mommy said...

I think your children are very geniusy!

And my cape is on backorder, I'm so irritated!

Pearl said...

What amazing lyrics! And, where can I find a cape like that? Is that standard equipment for moms or do you have to buy an upgrade? I totally am NOT supermom.

Kristina P. said...

The resemblance is uncanny!

Momza said...

How fun! Love the song lyrics!
That boy's got talent!

Jocelyn Christensen said...

I think I am going to lose sleep too over this one...but over it's pure awesomeness. You are "so seriously blessed" in my book!

It Rhymes with Witch said...

Watch out - that boy may just be the next Vanilla Ice!

reasonably chubby said...

Sounds like you had a wonderful Mother's Day! And what talented, soon to be discovered children you have. I think the drawing looks exactly like you. The minute I saw it, I said, 'yep, there's Linda'. :) Hahaha!

Jenny said...

Saw you on Louries and I love your humor. What a great post! And some serious artistic talent in your family!

Thanks for sharing this! It really made me smile!

Tom and Karen Mortensen said...

Very good. I see your kids got your sense of humour.

smArtee said...

Aw those are treasured gifts..i would totally frame them and put them on the wall..the song too...I love looking back at the old art pieces from the kids..they are soo soo endearing..!..Great kids ya got there..!

Charlotte said...

I'm still a little shaken by the mii my 5 year old made of me a few weeks back. I pray that isn't what I really look like.

Lourie said...

How great are those drawings. And the cartoon is classic! I think I have seen it before. I thought I got rid of all them. ;) I have been drawn with really big heads and super long legs. Not sure about the head thing, but the legs are fairly accurate. Haha.

No wonder you were up thinking about Mother's Day...it was a good one!

Leanne said...

Ok - seriously - the drawings are absolutely priceless! I can't get enough of them! You've got quite a group there!!

Krista said...

That rap brought tears to my eyes! Really, in teen language that was one big lovin' smooch! Crayons always add at least 20 lbs - even on stick people. I tagged you with a meme on my blog. :D

Krista said...

Ooops! I wasn't finished! I never take my cape off so I'm always prepared. I put it on backwards and tuck it in my bra. They're not real - just "super" sized.

He Who Laugs Last said...

My kids now preface drawings of me with things like...

"this is mommy having a good hair day"

or

"this is mommy before she took a shower."

This way I don't take their drawings personally!

foxy said...

The redone lyrics are GREAT! How super creative... I'm impressed!

The Redhead Riter said...

I laughed so hard at "your" pic, I remember getting those too.

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