Last night we got to attend the "promotion" ceremony for my kids school. A night of kindergarteners on stage staring at their teacher who is tirelessly waving arms and mouthing words to a song they have practiced a million times. A night of first graders in "colonial hats" and to scared to push it up out of their eyes while they sing. A night of pre-pubesent boys standing with hands in their pockets and a pouty look that means "I am way too cool to be here." A night of girls, who once out of their school uniforms, put on too high heels, flowers in their hair and mommy's make-up.
Each class "graduated" and was promoted to the next grade. It is a lot of pomp. It is ceremonial "overkill." And this is our 5th year of it. We LOVE our little private school. It is the little engine that could, but the ceremonies are slowly killing me. I am done fighting it. I used to be the obnoxious woman in the office who questioned a lot of things. But I am tired now. I go to these things waving a white flag. And my boys go in white shirt and tie (so fun to get them in THAT on a weeknight), complaining louder than their mama.
13 year old TanMan "Why do we have to be promoted? I can just promote myself!"
Am I a bad mom if I agree? Do kids that didn't show up, have to stay back because they did not go through the great promotion portal? Maybe that explains the 5 ft kid in 2nd grade with zits.
And I have not even mentioned last week's pre-school graduation. Cap. Gown. Pomp AND Circumstance playing. "You have mastered the alphabet and the art of gluing pasta to construction paper, here is a diploma."
It was more ceremonial than my husband's graduation from medical school. I expected them to give the
"ready for kindergarten Hippocratic oath."
* I solemnly swear to never eat paste (unless it is flavored like bubble gum)
* I promise to not cut in line unless it is absolutely deemed necessary
* I promise to not color outside the lines
* I promise to pretend to sleep at naptime
* I promise that what happens on the playground, stays on the playground
Okay he did look adorable in his cap and gown. But that is beside the point.
I have a favorite line from The Incredible's movie. It is a "discussion" between Helen (Elastigirl) and hubby Bob (Mr. Incredible) about their son's "graduation".
Helen: I can't beleive you don't want to go to your own son's graduation.
Bob: It's not a graduation. He is moving from the 4th to the 5th grade.
Helen: It's a ceremony!
Bob: It's psychotic! They keep finding new ways to celebrate mediocraty, but if someone is genuinely exceptional...
Agreed. I am perfectly happy staying home and enjoying my own mediocre life and home. And I will do that right after the CLASS AWARDS presentations this afternoon.