Wednesday, May 26, 2010

New ways to celebrate mediocrity

Last night we got to attend the "promotion" ceremony for my kids school.  A night of kindergarteners on stage staring at their teacher who is tirelessly waving arms and mouthing words to a song they have practiced a million times.  A night of first graders in "colonial hats" and to scared to push it up out of their eyes while they sing.  A night of pre-pubesent boys standing with hands in their pockets and a pouty look that means "I  am way  too cool to be here." A night of girls, who once out of their school uniforms, put on too high heels, flowers in their hair and mommy's make-up.

Each class "graduated" and was promoted to the next grade.  It is a lot of pomp.  It is ceremonial "overkill."  And this is our 5th year of it.  We LOVE our little private school.  It is the little engine that could, but the ceremonies are slowly killing me.  I am done fighting it.  I used to be the obnoxious woman in the office who questioned a lot of things.  But I am tired now. I go to these things waving a white flag.  And my boys go in white shirt and tie (so fun to get them in THAT on a weeknight), complaining louder than their mama.

13 year old TanMan "Why do we have to be promoted?  I can just promote myself!"

Am I a bad mom if I agree? Do kids that didn't show up, have to stay back because they did not go through the great promotion portal?  Maybe that explains the 5 ft kid in 2nd grade with zits.

And I have not even mentioned last week's pre-school graduation.  Cap. Gown. Pomp AND Circumstance playing.  "You have mastered the alphabet and the art of gluing pasta to construction paper, here is a diploma."

It was more ceremonial than my husband's graduation from medical school.  I expected them to give the
"ready for kindergarten Hippocratic oath."

* I solemnly swear to never eat paste (unless it is flavored like bubble gum)
* I promise to not cut in line unless it is absolutely deemed necessary
* I promise to not color outside the lines
* I promise to pretend to sleep at naptime
* I promise that what happens on the playground, stays on the playground

Okay he did look adorable in his cap and gown.  But that is beside the point.

I have a favorite line from The Incredible's movie.  It is a "discussion" between Helen (Elastigirl) and  hubby Bob (Mr. Incredible) about their son's "graduation".

Helen: I can't beleive you don't want to go to your own son's graduation.
Bob: It's not a graduation.  He is moving from the 4th to the 5th grade.
Helen: It's a ceremony!
Bob: It's psychotic! They keep finding new ways to celebrate mediocraty, but if someone is genuinely exceptional...

Agreed. I am perfectly happy staying home and enjoying my own mediocre life and home.  And I will do that right after the CLASS AWARDS presentations this afternoon.

27 comments:

Kristina P. said...

When did kindgerten graduations start happening? I don't understand.

Cheeseboy said...

This is so hilarious. The title of your post is perfect!

Lisa said...

Oh, I sooooooooo agree. And I feel the same way when I'm in a freakin' scout meeting and they tell me how ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY it is for the teen boys to wear Class B uniforms. Which are matching T-shirts. And we ALL know how tickled a 6'2 14 year old Jr. High kid is about standing next to a 5'0 kid in matching shirts. At mutual. With girls. And the only way our scouts can BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE is if ALL OF THE PARENTS ARE ON BOARD. Because we all know that success in life is all about matching shirts. So I wave a white flag.

Jessica G. said...

We had our son's preschool graduation. It's kinda funny when your kid is the only one not singing the alphabet phonics song but then goes completely over the top with his days of the week hand motions. But hey, we went for ice cream afterwards!

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Wow, really? Graduation? Dang, they must have way too much money on their hands.
Love the picture though!

Pearl said...

Yeah, we celebrate mediocrity this past weekend too with preschool graduation. Our daughter kept saying, "please mom, don't make me go". It was an hour of all the kids singing songs of the seasons, holidays, and different cultures. Cute, but tiring.

Cute little man in his cap and gown!

The Martos Fudge said...

I just can't wait to have more ways to spend my days. You know when I was growing up the reward for passing from one grade to another was, no belt came around my legs. Wow things change.

annie said...

I can sit through a preschool graduation easily - just don't make me sit through 6th graders moving on to Junior High - that is nothing to celebrate!

Lourie said...

I totally thought of that scene from the Incredibles. Probably because we watched it like 50 times last week.

No "promotions" this year. Next year we will though.

Allyson & Jere said...

Yeah, all a bit much.

I'm totally ok with the pre-school "graduation", 'cause that's cute. But anything after that is ridiculous, unless of course it's HIGH SCHOOL graduation.

Sorry you had to sit through all that. It is exhausting.

reasonably chubby said...

Oh, Honey, I totally 100% agree with you. Just think, what if you were 19 kids and counting? Give me a gun...:)My parents were great, and they never came to anything. They weren't supposed to. Or at least that's what they told me. Hmmm...

Kami said...

Haha! The title and post, how perfectly funny can this be?
We should save graduations for the big kids. I'm sure the little kiddies would rather be coloring or eating paste (especially if it's bubble gum flavored)

Funky Mama Bird said...

That does seem like overkill, huh. Love the analogy of the little engine that could!

Bob and Tami Day said...

Thank you linda for making us laugh!! The Days

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

So true. Ceremonies for each grade promotion seem like overkill.

AB said...

Our public school district cut all junior high "graduations" for budget reasons. I thought it was brilliant!

MrsDixon said...

This is too funny! You need to figure out a way to send a replacement/ clone of yourself to those things...or convince the school to do them via satalite- then you can fast forwarded to your kid!

Jocelyn Christensen said...

hilarious!

Stephanie Bishop said...

Love your new header and button! I am now on a quest to learn how to make one that matches my blog. They are all over blog sites and I want to be cool like that!

Your post is so on target with "promotions" I thought a graduation from 5th to 6th grade was bad, but EVERYYEAR--at least both ceremonies were only 1 hour! I have given up complaining too---you just get shot down again and again!

Don't even get me started on the Graduation After Party--I thought an all you can eat party at an arcade was reward enough, but there were soooooooooooo many other extras!

Much More Than Mommy said...

The Husband pointed at the screen emphatically during that part of The Incredibles. I thought it was a bit too much when Big Sister finished pre-K, but she *did* look precious in the cap and gown. :-)

Krista said...

Yes! I agree 100% and coming from someone who doesn't even make the ratings - I mean - my viewpoint from the bottom of the pond is AMEN! Elementary school yearbooks bug me, too. Why do I need a picture of every freakin' kid in elementary school? A class picture is fine. Saving a Valentine's list is even better - k, maybe not.

The Damsel In Dis Dress said...

Hey! It was super fun to meet you at CBC. I'm STILL so exhausted from the weekend. How about you?

Sarah loves it all said...

That's too funny Linda. I wanted to come over and tell you how SWEET I thought you were in person. I'm so glad I had the chance to meet you, and that you even mentioned your thrifty shoes. You're a truly lovely lady!

T said...

Love this Post!!!! I agree with Every. Bit. :)

Cole said...

Just came across your blog and love it. I'm #100. :)
nicole visiting from
http://lettersfromcoco.blogspot.com/

Charlotte said...

I've always had a sore spot for all the silly graduations and have luckily been able to avoid them. 5 times so far. I think I might revolt if asked to get a cap and gown for kindergarten.

Jessi Wilson said...

Hey Linda I thought I was the only one who felt that way. My husband couldn't make it this year he asked me how it went and I said "The same as last year."

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