Wednesday, August 18, 2010


Recently my college cutie and I both had to get something notarized.  (The reason why,  I will share in a later blog).  In my 43 years I think there was one other time I had to do this.  The idea seems very antiquated.  I was surprised to find that UPS stores have notaries so I told my daughter, who lives in another city, to go to her local UPS store too.

I did not know what to expect.  I pictured an old guy in a back room at an old metal desk with a big round embossing thing.  But there were just UPS folks in their blue polos and khakis.  (I guess the brown uniforms are reserved for the hot delivery boys). The blue-polo lady asked me to go over to a counter in the middle of the store.  I met her there with my very important papers.  She had a log book that she put down info. in and looked at my drivers license.  Sitting next to her log book, was a stamp.  There was no round embossing thing.

So after I signed my very important paper and before she signed and stamped her very important paper, she asked me to raise my right hand.

Huh?  In the middle of the store?  Not wanting to be un-notarized, I did it.

She proceeded with something about solemnly swearing that everything I said, did, wrote and thought, was the truth and nothing but.  So help me God.

Really?  In the middle of the store? Who died and made her judge?  She did not flinch or smile.  She was serious.

So with my right hand still in the air, I said yes.  Thinking I was under oath, I then testified that Colonel Mustard did it in the library with the knife.  Or maybe that was just in my head.

I then got to pay $5.00 for the privilege.

I left the store thinking the whole thing a bit odd but supposed that was how it was done.

I then talked to my hubby who snickered at me.  He said he's had things notarized a lot for his business and never had to raise his hand and swear anything.  Well, maybe that is just because he is a cute and charming.

But then I talked to my daughter who went to her own UPS store.  She snickered too.  Well, more like laughed out loud.  No, she did not swear to anything either.

What?  Why me?  Did I find the only notary on a power trip? Was there a hidden camera and they were watching video, on their lunch breaks, of the poor slobs that raised their right hand in the middle of the store?

I think it was racial profiling.

Everyone knows that Caucasian, middle aged moms, are always the first to get the shaft.



CB said...

Too funny! As I got to that part when I was reading the post my exact thoughts were that I have never had to raise my arm when notarizing something. They also always have had one of those embossing stamps. I hope you really got your papers properly notorized - I mean she may have been wearing blue but she may have been smoking something green in the back! :-D

Karen Mortensen said...

This was good. I guess you look a little shifty.

Lourie said...

I would have raised my hand too. LOL

I thought it was Mrs. White in the study with the revolver.

shortmama said...

Yep you must have walked in with sucker written on your head because my mom is a notary and never makes people take an oath!

Lisa said...

Yeah, best not to rock the self righteous notary boat. Just paddle and jump out when you reach shore...and she's stamped you worthy.

Jocelyn Christensen said...

Hilarious! I'll watch to see you on "What Would You Do?!"

Jenny P. said...

If I were you, I'd go back and see her again. Challenge her high and mighty notarizing self. But then, she might make you do it again, and sense you were SO willing... maybe you should just stay home.

Lisa said...

She just wrote a blog post about the lady who raised her hand and swore it was all true! HAHA!

Next time go to your bank--it's FREE! (I just did this last week)

Saimi said...

Did you smile? I'm thinking you WERE on Candid Camera!

TisforTonya said...

hmmmm... I've had it done at the bank before and no oath - but the lady knew me well enough to be embarrassed to have to see my license to check my identity :)

Kristina P. said...

I used to have to get tons of crap notorized when I worked for DCFS> I don't remember ever having to do the swearing in thing. I do remember swearing about my clients, however.

foxy said...

Let me just tell ya... I am a notary and that swearing thing is not part of the act. I've never made anyone do that and never done it myself in front of another notary. The one you got MUST have been on her own little power trip.

Momza said...

That's hilarious!
I've had things notarized ALOT and never ever had to raise my hand or anything.
Either you came across a prankster or an idiot who didn't know what else to do. lol Either way, I'm giggling over here.
Thanks for sharing!

Annette Lyon said...

I've been lucky enough to do the notary thing in banks. Never raised my hand, but if told to, I probably would have.

(Oh, and *snicker*)

Krista said...

Maybe she works at Target on the side. That's all I can think of. And she probably wears extra tight knickers. ;-)

Cheeseboy said...

I think you were taken for a ride by a clerk. She's probably telling her buddies about it as we speak.

Allyson & Jere said...

Alright, I'm apologizing up front because I'm laughing, A LOT, OUT LOUD at the hilarity of this whole scene. They made you swear and oath. I can just see them all in the break room coming up with the days plan to end the tedium of their job. First one to get someone to raise their arm and say an oath wins. Hahhaha

Ok, I'm sorry I'll stop laughing now. But thank you for writing this, it was awesome.

I loved your fina line too..."cause everyone knows that Caucasion, middleaged moms are always the first to get the shaft."

Welcome to the Garden of Egan said...

OK, that was funny! I bet there was a hidden camera.
It's being loaded on youtube even as we speak...I'm pretty sure!

You are such a cute blonde gullible thing!

val m said...

Ok, we just had to have something notarized and they had both Chris and I raise our arms and take the oath!! I am wondering if it is something new - it was the first time it has happened to us!! Thankfully, it was in our home!

KyAnn (like Cayenne Pepper, only HOTTER) said...

She probably blogged this week in a post titled "I made some crazy white chick take an oath." I'm just kidding. Sort of. I love this story!!!

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Well, you do look like a terrorist.

That was my first thought when I first met you. "Man, she looks like a terrorist!"

Okay, not really, you're gorgeous.

But how stinkin' funny!

Ashley said...

You have a really nice blog!

If you died today, are you 100% sure you would go to Heaven?

You CAN know 100% you are on your way to Heaven!

I John 5:13 These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.

1. You Are A Sinner.
"For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23

"As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:"
Romans 3:10

"They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one."
Romans 3:12

2. There Is A Price On Sin.
"For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23

"And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death." Revelation 20:14

3. Jesus Died and Shed His Precious Blood on the Cross of Calvary To Pay For Your Sins.
"But God commendeth His love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

"And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission." Hebrews 9:22

"And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,
And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen." Revelation 1:5-6

4. Salvation Is Not Of Our Works. It Is Through Jesus Christ.
"But to him that worketh not, but believeth on Him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness." Romans 4:5
"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
Not of works, lest any man should boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

5. God Wants To Save You If You Will Just Put Your Trust In Him.
"For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." Romans 10:13

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

OHMYGosh... watch for you somewhere on YouTUbe... hahahahahaha that is the funniest thing ever. No way that person was serious. I have never had to do that and I've had things notarized, and my hubby use to be a notary.

That is to funny!

Vanessa said...

Hahaha... Sorry I had to laugh a little, I bet she was a crazy old lady. Bitter with life and though that because she had the power to place her signature on your important paper, she could ask you to swear in... HAhaha, Well it's done, and thats whats important. I am going to watch candid camera looking for you. Love your posts.

Leanne said...

Absolutely CRACKED ME UP!!!! "Colonel Mustard did it in the library with the knife!!?!??!!" (That's my favorite game!!!) SO SO FUNNY. And - nope - like many before me, I have never had to raise the right hand. I think you need to return to that store and have her raise her right hand and swear, under YOUR oath, whether she was supposed to make you do that. Really really funny!!!

Charlotte said...

I think retail stores must release some sort of chemical in you that begs for weird things to happen.

Evelyn @ Hanging by a Silver Lining said...

Bahahahaha! In months to come you'll be watching TV and find yourself on a candid camera program. :D


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