Monday, April 26, 2010

Credit given to the Goddess of Funny Email Forwards

My daughter forwarded me this list.  I thought it was great and I wanted to share.  I don’t know who to give credit to, except the Goddess of Funny Email Forwards.  She is not to be confused with the Goddess of  Inspirational Email Forwards with Rainbows and Puppies, and the Goddess of False Email Warnings about a Virus that will Attack your Computer if you Open Anything from a Guy Named Bubba. 

My own original thoughts are in parentheses.

Thoughts to ponder:

 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer's history if you die. (and clean out your underwear drawers of anything you want your kids to never see)

   2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize          you're wrong. (If I ever have that moment I will let you know)

3.I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
(I am totally trying to make up for it with my Sunday afternoon naps)

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. ( I think my blog would be entirely in that font)

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (You don’t. It just gets shoved in the corner of the linen closet)

6. Was learning cursive really necessary? (Only if you want to send a fancy note to someone fancy)

7. Map Quest needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. (Yea, you would think. But when driving with my teenagers I think steps 1-4 are very necessary)

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. (I have also thought this!  Not in a morbid way but in a way of important things to avoid doing so you don’t meet the same fate)

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. (I think it was June, 1979)

10. Bad decisions make good stories. (And good blog posts!)

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. (It usually strikes around 9:30 am at my house)

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. ( I still have cassette tapes with NOTHING to play them on!)

13.. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to the ten-page paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. (I just say yes, save changes, and hope those changes weren’t stupid)

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever. (Yes. That is what it SHOULD mean. But sometimes I think I know better.  And it turns out, I don’t)

15. I hate it when I miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run like hell????
(my husband will call the home phone and hang up after 3 rings, after I have run to answer it.  He then calls my cell phone which I then have to run and find.  It makes me want to cuss)

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. (Amen sista.  One of my favorite lines from Pretty in Pink “don’t waste good lip gloss.”)

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. (If my mother-in-law is reading this, it isn’t true!)

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Mom, what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How do I respond to that? (I would say Ninjas are worth 100 pts. If it is a Ninja Turtle 200 pts.)

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well…(I actually checked, and mine has one.  That way I can see the frozen  cookie dough better when I reach in to grab a morsel)

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Saturday night more kisses begin with Budweiser than Kay.
 ( On our Saturday nights kisses begin in front of the TV and if there is nothing good on, they contintue!)



Sandy aka Doris the Great said...

Hilarious! Thank you so much. I'm personally sending #1 out to my girlfriends and sisters.

Lisa said...

#15-Don does this to me all the time!

#1-I have real experience with this situation. After a parent dies, there are just some things you don't ever want to discover and I found them all when my dad died last year. My sister and I had some fun with it, but we struggled to get rid of evidence before other family members showed!

Queenie Jeannie said...


Thanks for the laughs and know I was nodding my head to most of these!!!

Unknown said...

What a great list. I love this! So great : ) I am stopping over from SITS. So nice to meet you today : )

Reading Rosie said...

So Funny!!!!

Kristina P. said...

I haven't seen this one for a long time. It gets me everytime.

My friend has her iPhone tag as "Sent from Prison."

Lourie said...

#4 I soooo need a sarcasm font! Let's invent one.

#5 You fold fitted sheets the same way I do.

#12 I have cassette tapes ans VHS tapes. *sigh*

#13 I save all the time too. Because if I don't, it will be lost in the void forever.

#18 HAHAHAHA! I play this all the time.

Robin said... funny...hi there im following from Adventures and misadventures...have great day..Im with you on # 17, and 14 and 16...Lolol..!

Betsy said...

This was hilarious. Love it.

MamaOtwins+1 said...

I love so many of these!
#1 I already forwarded to my best friend.
#4 I need it too!
#10 they make excellent blog posts!
#12 I'm ignoring them!

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

And for some reason, I thought #18 was the funniest, just because of YOUR response. I don't even understand my own sense of humor, but it seriously made me laugh out loud.

Lisa said...

Looks like someone can see inside my brain/has experienced my life. So very many soul mates in this world.

AB said...

Sarcasm font? You can invent it here
and then share it with all of us.

Anonymous said...

you. are. awesome. and. hilarious.

When you make a sarcasm font, I want it!

Karen Mortensen said...

Funny, funny. Thanks for the laugh. It is good to know i am not alone in some things I think.

Evelyn said...

Go figure. A forward I haven't seen. Why is it I always seem to get all the stupid rainbow, puppy ones?! THIS I would actually read. Thanks for the laugh! I would pinpoint some I particularily liked, but a) there were too many and b)I'm too lazy and c)I need to go change a diaper. Something stinks. 'Nite! Ü

sarah said...

Stopping by from The Lady Blogger's Society Tea Party, I loved your blog! Meet your newest follower! :)

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Love the list. #1 is totally vital. And #20 is too funny and our house does the same as yours.


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