Thursday, April 22, 2010

A double standard I can live with...(again!)



 (Back by popular demand is this post that I deleted yesterday.  I decided it was okay to feel this way and express it.  If it offends you… then put on your jammies, eat ice-cream, and think happier thoughts!)

Last fall while family was visiting I prepared for a girls night out with my nieces and daughters.  I made us all t-shirts.  T-shirts with hot guys on them half my age.   We had talked about this night for a long time and I wanted to make it special.  We were going to see the second movie in the Twilight saga, New Moon.  Some of us had read the books, some had not.  It didn’t matter.  We all liked the movies and the guys in them.  We had a great time.  The best moment was when the character Jacob Black was shirtless, in the rain, and my then 14yr old daughter leaned over to me and said, “ This is the best scene in any movie ever.”  Ah, young hormones.  But it was not hurting my eyes either. 

That night represents a great double standard in our society.  If the men in our family, including my husband had gone out together to see Dukes of Hazzard in Jessica Simpson t-shirts, we would have called them pigs and they would have been sleeping on the floor.  Women are allowed to ogle. Men are not.  Women are allowed a new celebrity crush every week and pass around emails of who’s hot and who’s not (I have seen them!)  Women can sit, on their girl’s night out, and talk about McDreamy and McSteamy.  (Hey I know you do! Do not deny it!) If men ogle, hoot and holler, watch movies or TV shows JUST for the female hotness, they could be considered sexist scum. (Hey I don’t make the rules)!

I am sure there are lots of books written on this subject.  I have not read any of them. These are just the thoughts from my own pea brain.  I think men, in general, have earned their lack of rights to be sexist. Throughout the ages men have shown what they are capable of.  And most recently Tiger Woods put the icing on philandering cake. 

Now don’t get me wrong.  I am not a man hater.  Quite the opposite.  I love men of all shapes and sizes.  My hubby does not need my permission to notice a beautiful woman.  In fact, I more than likely noticed her first! But, when it comes to double standards men generally have the upper hand.  Except in this case.   And that frankly, is a double standard I can live with. 

Linda



25 comments:

Charlotte said...

Well I suppose I've obligated myself to comment now. (Can I say first that I have all my blog posts emailed to my husband, too)

I'm not sure how large a double standard there is. Have you seen Transformers 2? There is a whole scene where the woman character is running for like 2 hours that is nothing but eye candy for the man.

I think I read a long time ago that women are more hurt by emotional cheating and men by physical cheating? That may play into the argument. Men don't care if their women ogle, women do care if their men do it.

I do like your point about men showing what they are capable of over the ages. Tiger Woods is the poster boy for it.

Jocelyn Christensen said...

RIGHT-ON, Sister. Why in the world did you delete this in the first place?

Kristina P. said...

Personally, I think the double standard comes in with the underage thing. Taylor Launter was 17 when the movie came out.

If 40 year-old men went around wearing shirts of Miley Cyrus, people would have a fit.

And like I said yesterday, I still think it's slightly weird and creepy, but I love you anyway. :)

Tom and Karen Mortensen said...

I am not sure what to say so I'll just say that. This is over my head. Maybe it is because I'm tired. But I always point out woman to my husband. Especially the well endowed ones. He would miss them if I didn't point them out.

Lourie said...

You are 100% spot on right. And I think it is perfectly acceptable for us ogle men. (hehehe) I am partial to Josh Hollaway who plays Sawyer on LOST. He is super yummy and not under aged. But he's married. Oh well. haha. Great post, I am glad you reconsidered it.

w said...

i can live with it, too. plus. i'm super hot so my hubby doesn't even notice any other woman in the room.

super hot in my brain.

Saimi said...

I'm sitting here in my jammies eating icecream having a good laugh! Thanks for bringing back your deleated post.

AB said...

I'm trying to picture Harland in a hot chick shirt at a movie with his guys and talking about the babes....

Stephanie Bishop said...

Crazy small world! I lived across the hall with Laurie Rossin--Wendy M.--MaryBeth N--and two other girls. What a great group of girls. You must of lived with the group for several more years as I have been married 23 years.

Janet Clark and I serve in the Lenexa Stake Primary Presidency and if you browse my blog sites--you will see Valerie M. and Wendy Morgan!

6 kids! What a busy person you are---You look fantastic and so healthy

I love your sense of humor. Thanks for stopping by and viewing. I am a picture hoarder and am embarrassed, however, one can always just pass them up. I am not forcing anyone to view!!!!!!!!!! RIGHT!

Momza said...

Have you seen my blog today???
LOL LOL
Too funny!
And so spot on!

reasonably chubby said...

I love this post! I can't believe you ever deleted it! :) Have a happy weekend ogling as many hot men as you possibly can...lol!

{Brittany} said...

That is sooo true! Thanks for sharing and thanks for the comment on my blog. I feel the same way about comments. If I'm going to look at someone's blog...I'm going to comment!!

He Who Laughs Last said...

Love this post! I'm a new stalker...ahem...follower!

Thanks for visiting my blog on my SITS day this week!

Leanne said...

So glad you put this one back up. I starting reading it the day you first posted it . . . had to log off and when I finally got back to the computer - poof! It was gone!!! Anyway - it is all in good fun, so don't worry yourself. By the way . . . my T-Shirt would have to have TROY from HSM on it. You see, I was , er hem, FORCED to watch high school musical with my daughter, and yes, I would consider jail time in exchange for troy! ;)

Krista said...

I've never been one to be star struck, but you are right on. Those young guys don't do it for me - I like "around my age" kinda guys - and even find the middle-age symptoms quite attractive. Except comb-overs. They are not acceptable especially at my age! Way too young for that!

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Oh my gosh, LOL! So true! And yet, I strangely have never thought of it before!
Perhaps I am just still young and innocent. :D

2busy said...

I'm proud of you!

Anna See said...

i agree with you! it's not fair, but it's true. kind of like how i can give my husband a playful punch on the shoulder, but i certainly wouldn't want a guy doing that to me... it would seem a lot less playful.

Laura E. Sanchez-Gonzalez said...

Why did you delete this post?, it is a wonderful post, lets be all honest, we all look at guys, so we can't expect that our couples reaming without do the same we do, as long of none of each other do it in an irresponsibly or disrespectful way, everything is fine. By the way, I am visiting from the LBS, love your blog, I am following you now.

Thoughts of a Career Woman

WhisperingWriter said...

This is true. My husband has plainly said that Megan Fox is hot and I'm not offended or call him scum. I just turn around and go, "So is John Krasinksi."

And the t-shirts with the Twilight cast scares me a little bit.

Kelly said...

I with you! The double standard works against us in pretty much every other case, so I'll take this one and run for it.

Though, getting tingly over Jacob Black does make me feel like a pedophile. Taylor Lautner was Shark Boy for heaven's sake!!!

Peggy K said...

You are absolutely, positively, 100% correct!! Couldn't have said it better myself!! It's so nice to know that as our daughters get older, we can have them join us in the silliness and tightness of the sisterhood. I think this was a great way to show your daughter what sisterhood is all about!!

Sell...Party Of 4 said...

we had this same discussion when the movie first came out.

you are so right.

great post.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I agree there is a double standard. I'm ok with this one. Loved the Twilight movies too.

foxy said...

In general, yes, there may be a double standard. But not in my house! We are equal opportunity oglers!! :)

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