Friday, April 30, 2010

Letters to Juliet and Noisy Old Men

Last night I got to attend an advanced screening of the movie "Letters to Juliet."  I got invited because...

A. I am cool like that and get invited to all A list premiers in Las Vegas
or
B. I signed up with lasvegasfreemovies.com like any loser with a email address can do.

So my sis-in-law (who is my second favorite date) and I felt pretty fancy attending this screening, for free, in a theater with rows reserved for fancy press people.  Though they looked no fancier than me.  We were told if we liked the movie, to tell everyone we know.  And if we did not like the movie to keep our mouths shut.  And there were some folks after the movie that were hearing opinions.  (So when you see the ad for Letters to Juliet, with the quote "I laughed. I cried. It moved me" that was me).

It was a packed house, because of all the losers with email addresses who like a free movies, even if it was only rated PG.  We got the only two seats left together, which put me right to next to Old-Man-With-Cane-And-Jean-Shorts.  The second the movie started so did the noises.  Old man noises.  Grunts, hums and haws, lip smacking and a mysterious whistle/laughing sound at inappropriate times.  And then there was the loud popcorn eating like every bite was an effort to keep his dentures in. And this went on EVERY 5 SECS FOR THE ENTIRE MOVIE.  I let my SIL know what I was up against and when she heard him we giggled like schoolgirls hearing their teacher fart for the first time.



So besides the very-annoying-but-probably-someone's-grandpa next to me, I loved the movie. It stars the cute Amanda Seyfried (from Mama Mia and Dear John).  She goes on a journey through Italy to help a Grandma, played by the aging-beautifully-without-botox Vanessa Redgrave, find her lost love of 50 years ago.  Her grandson, played by newcomer Christopher Egan, reminded me of a young Heath Ledger. Ahhhh, Heath.....

It is one of those location movies that make me want to move to Italy, grow grapes, and eat  bread and cheese outside every night while watching the sunset.  The scenery was amazing and the storyline was sooooo romantic.   It was squeaky clean (no sex, no swear words. Gasp!) and the music of Colbie Caillat and Taylor Swift was perfect. It will appeal to an older generation as well since it emphasizes that love is ageless. So yes there are 70 yr olds kissing in this movie, which made the noises next to me even louder.

At the end both my SIL and I sighed that sigh of "Oh if real life was only so romantic." As Old-Man-With-Cane-And-Jean-Shorts stood up his bum was only inches from my face.  And then all I could think was, "Please don't fart. Please don't fart."  It would have ruined a perfectly good free movie.


Linda

25 comments:

Momza said...

LOL! You crack me up!
So funny...old man and everything.
I wanna see that movie, so thanks for the review!

Jocelyn Christensen said...

You are too much! Thanks (I guess:) for making me feel like I was there at the movie with you! LOL

Kristina P. said...

Man, you are so fancy! I wasn't sure if this was going to be Nicholas Sparks kind of cheesy, or cute.

Photina said...

Such a great review...old man and all. :-) I am excited it got good reviews as I want to see this movie.

Amy R. Nelson said...

I just added it to my netflix queue. I hate actually going to the movies (though I think I may be the only one) so in six to eight months I'll find out if I agree with you! I love good movies that are only PG, a rarity these days!

Sarah loves it all said...

Aaah! Every single time I go to the movies (which is hardly ever) there is ALWAYS some loud/obnoxious/weird/disturbance/person. The worst one ever was something I called "sheepman". Every time there was a silent pause he would BAAA out loud! I'll take my living room and couch please. :)

Emily said...

Well, now I want to see it!

"which made the noises next to me even louder." That made me laugh hard.

Lisa said...

You know, after a movie like that, surely you could have found something romantic about an old man's farting rump. I'll work on that and get back to you.

Cheeseboy said...

Ha ha! I've heard that old man movie farts smell like buttered popcorn.

Lourie said...

Oh I am dying here. Hhahahaha! So glad he didn't fart. LOL. You are so funny.

reasonably chubby said...

Okay...I'm going! You did a terrific job reviewing this movie. I'm counting on you that I'm not wasting $10 because lately I've become very tight fisted in the movie dept. It better be worth it, especially if I end up sitting next to somebody who farts...hopefully not my very own husband. Farting I mean. Have a great weekend!

shortmama said...

LOL I always seem to sit next to the weird people at movies too!

Leanne said...

Don't those old man noises just kill you? You are so funny!!! And I can't wait to see the movie now that I've read your post - I love those movies that make you want to move to the place, like "Under the Tuscan Sun" ... I really wanted to move to Tuscany and buy a house and start this amazingly exciting life and, oh,sorry, gotta go - my toddler is screaming "Mom, wipe my bottom!!". I guess that's exciting, too. . . ;)

Peggy K said...

LOL!! You are officially my favorite movie reviewer!!! Old man remarks and all!!!!

smArtee said...

LMAO...Im surprised you really got to see any of that movie with all the goings on...Holy Cow...I think Id rather pay for seats and sit in peace...either way ..thanks for the recommend..I did want to see it..but I never saw Dear John yet...did you ..??lohow was it...you know she was also in mean girls right..yeah what a ditz in that one..but I still loved her..

Tom and Karen Mortensen said...

You always seem to have the most interesting experiences.
That movie sounds really good.

Pearl said...

You. Are. Hilarious! Thanks for the movie review, it was on my list of "to see movies". I just hope I don't sit by any grandpa types :)

AB said...

You rock. I'll be dragging my hubby to that one fo sho.

Saimi said...

Ooooooo, I so want to see that movie! I just hope I don't end up sitting next to a grunting, popcorn chomping, potentially farting old man!

Evelyn Perkins said...

Oh boy. I HATED HATED HATED Dear John so I was getting scared that Letters to Juliet was going to follow along those lines. Yeah!! Can't wait to see it!

Thanks for the hilarious crtique!

Much More Than Mommy said...

This is one of my favoritest movie reviews ever! :-D And I actually *want* to see this movie, and I'm not a fan of mushy gushy ones.

Krista said...

I never go to the movies - though I did splurge to see Alice in Wonderland during the matinee when it wasn't very crowded. I probably would have giggled the whole time, too, if I sat next to someone that was unaware of their "noisy" habits. Men snorting snot - that's the worst (well next to farting, but they usually only save that for family.) But they think snorting is okay - ew! It's like, "taste good?"

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

*gasp* A clean movie? Now this I gotta see!
*snicker* Sorry about the old man. Someday, that will me me! Only in female form.

Marian said...

I am proud of you, the truly best stand up comedien in the family. About the movie, I wondered if I would enjoy it, I think I will. Thanks for the review. How about doing it for all the movies you see, that will save me walking out or grumbling. love you, Mom V

He Who Laughs Last said...

That made me laugh out loud!

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