Friday, April 9, 2010

Dear Oprah, I am over you.




Dear Oprah,

I am not quite sure how to say this since we have had a relationship for almost 25 years.  So, here it goes…I am over you.  Yep, it’s true.  It has been a gradual and painless process.  But let’s face it.  It’s time.  We had a good run.  I have been with you through all the thick and the thin (no pun intended. Okay, yes there was).  I have watched your rise to the all-knowing-all-powerful-talk-show-Goddess you have become.  I have been jealous of Gayle.  I watched you make-over the frumpy and praise the newly thin.  I have been there through the touching and heart-breaking.  I have cried with reunited families and abused children.  I watched you fawn over celebrities and become their new best friend.  I swayed and danced as you swayed and danced with great music icons. 

Oprah you may not remember me, but I came to your show.  TWICE!  It was the late 90’s when I lived in the Chicago area.  I remember being so nervous and spending hours on deciding what to wear.  I got my five seconds of camera time but the shows were really kind of boring.  And I was a little hurt how you didn’t even really acknowledge the audience during commercials.  I didn’t even win a car.  Sigh.

But I continued to watch.  I watched as your Midas touch turned Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz into household names.  I watch you get a mammogram and a colonoscopy and I don’t do that for just anyone.  I watched you introduce book after book for your club and even tried to read a few.  I realized we had different taste in books.  Either Tony Morrison is way over my head or I am way over hers.  And I already knew how to eat, pray and love.  Thanks anyway. 

You used to come off as every woman’s best friend.  You said you knew being a mom was the hardest job on earth.  But you don’t have kids.  You have maids and cooks and assistants.  So you really don’t know.  You became out of touch and too big to relate to the regular person.  You think a $100 purse or blouse is a bargain.  I decided I couldn’t really have a relationship with someone that has never shopped at Target. 

And then there was the whole election.  I knew we had different political views and that was fine.  But then you really made it clear.  You shoved it in my face.  You even said you knew half the country did not agree with you but still wore your “Hope Won” t-shirt the day after the election.  Like the rest of us did not have hope? I think we are just hoping for different things.

To be fair, I still Tivo you everyday. I watch if I find the topic interesting.  But I have no qualms deleting if you are too high on your horse or talking about child molesters for the 1 millionth time.  So I wasn’t really sad when you announced the end of your show.  I think YOU can feel that a lot of women are feeling the same as I.  Yesterday you announced your new prime-time interview show called “Oprah, the Next Chapter” or something narcissistic like that.  Oprah, darling, I think that is a chapter I will skip.

Sincerely,

Linda

21 comments:

Momza said...

I could not have said this any better....so so true.
I used to LOVE her with her big hair and huge earrings and size 10 feet!
And then started believing her own press and crawled up on the pedastal she sits on everyday and I stopped looking up to her.
She doesn't speak to me anymore about anything I care about.
We did name our dog after her though...a smart black lab, Oprah,
who never comes when I call her.
hmph!

Momza said...

*and then SHE started believing her own press. Not me. That'd be silly.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

I've actually never really watched Opera. That's what happens when you grow up AND currently live in a TV deprived home.
But I did watch a couple of her shows. I honestly never saw what all the hol-a-baloo was about.
But maybe that's because I never knew her early years?

Motherboard said...

Me too. I went to her twice also when we lived in Chicago. I wore pleather pants(don't judge!). The producer came all the way up to the very back row (where I was sitting) and said "That is such a beautiful color of shirt! What color do you call it?" I was a little shocked and said rather hesitantly "Umm... Red?"

They moved me to the front row where I got to sit next to Gary Zukov's "life partner". She whispered to me during a commercial that she was his "life partner" because they didn't believe in marriage. And the show was ALL ABOUT MARRIAGE!

(how's that for a comment hi-jack!)

Saimi said...

Yeah, I've never been an Oprah fan. Never really watched any of her shows either....Maybe I've been out of the loop all these years, but from the sound of it I should consider myself lucky!

Lisa said...

So about the book club~I bought a couple of them and actually had to THROW THEM OUT INTO THE BIG GARBAGE CANS BY THE GARAGE, because I couldn't risk the chance of letting the toxins permeate my house pores. And then there's the whole Target thing~yeah, deal breaker. Even though there are more rainbow pride workers there than anywhere I've ever shopped, I still love me some Target. So bless you, dear woman. Kindred spirits.

Sarah loves it all said...

I concur! You said it all. She just isn't relate-able. Her life is not reality. I think this whole new show idea is lame. Although I did enjoy watching the Glee cast this week. :)

P.S. Great post. I'm a total scanner when it comes to blogs, and I read the entire post.

a girl in a gorilla suit said...

she has done SOME good for the world...but not much considering she has BILLIONS of dollars(why does ONE person, who has NO kids, NEED BILLIONs of dollars,anyways?). My mom watched her when i was younger, then i watched her too, when my kids were little. but a few years ago, i stopped.

well said! bye bye ms. O!

Kristina P. said...

The last show I watched was the sex offender show. Is she still fat Oprah?

Robert said...

No signs of psychosis I can see. So I guess it's legit, Oprah is out...!

Leanne said...

FAN-TASTIC!!!!!!!! You took the words RIGHT OUT of my mouth (hey - how'd you do that???) I've been feeling the Oprahache for a few years now, and you know . . . I'm fine now. Excellent POST! LOVE it!

Cheeseboy said...

This is so funny because it is almost exactly how I feel about David Letterman. His last extramarital fling(s) just put it over the edge for me.

That being said, he is STILL better than Leno. Fortunately Oprah will have them both over for the Superbowl.

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

I watch Oprah maybe once or twice a year. She's okay, but I admit that she lost a little sparkle when I realized that she puts herself on every. single. cover of her "O" magazine.

Megan said...

Linda,

Can we be best friends?

I SOOOO agree with you... on almost every aspect....

Thanks for stopping by my blog & for the follow. I can't wait to follow you back!

Have a great weekend!

Bob and Tami said...

So that we are not blogstalking, so totally agree with The Oprah thing. I remember watching her with my Mom back in Maryland when she was doing the news. She has had her time, now it is time to move on. (Did also enjoy the Glee show, but not because of her!) By the way, this is Katie Russells parents.

Much More Than Mommy said...

I set the laptop down, stood up, and applauded you for this. RIGHT. ON. I was never a big fan, but the time she had an Oscar special and facilitated Jamie Foxx interviewing Sidney Poitier and then acted like interrupting their time together was a *treat* for everyone, my mind was blown.

ReadingRosie said...

Bravo! Bravo! Well, said Linda. I do not follow the gospel according to Oprah. It's good to hear there are other wise women out there who have not fallen for her God like status!!!! Blessings.

AB said...

The last few years I thought it was just me...Nice to meet you, my fellow commenters/ disenchanted ex-Oprahites!

Charlotte said...

I gave up on her about 10 years ago. Way before getting hooked on Dr. Phil or that other guy (Is Dr Oz some big guy too?). In fact giving up on her got me to give up on daytime TV completely.

I'm always still surprised that she is still on the air. I guess not for long!

Tom and Karen Mortensen said...

Amen!!! I think we are bonding. I don't like her. It is too much about her.

Lourie said...

I wish I could think that a $100 purse was a bargain! Sheesh! I had enough trouble buying the one I did at Wally for $16!!! I must be ill. Yeah, she has gotten too big for britches. ANd weight has nothing to do with it. Nicely put.

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