I am not quite sure how to say this since we have had a relationship for almost 25 years. So, here it goes…I am over you. Yep, it’s true. It has been a gradual and painless process. But let’s face it. It’s time. We had a good run. I have been with you through all the thick and the thin (no pun intended. Okay, yes there was). I have watched your rise to the all-knowing-all-powerful-talk-show-Goddess you have become. I have been jealous of Gayle. I watched you make-over the frumpy and praise the newly thin. I have been there through the touching and heart-breaking. I have cried with reunited families and abused children. I watched you fawn over celebrities and become their new best friend. I swayed and danced as you swayed and danced with great music icons.
Oprah you may not remember me, but I came to your show. TWICE! It was the late 90’s when I lived in the Chicago area. I remember being so nervous and spending hours on deciding what to wear. I got my five seconds of camera time but the shows were really kind of boring. And I was a little hurt how you didn’t even really acknowledge the audience during commercials. I didn’t even win a car. Sigh.
But I continued to watch. I watched as your Midas touch turned Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz into household names. I watch you get a mammogram and a colonoscopy and I don’t do that for just anyone. I watched you introduce book after book for your club and even tried to read a few. I realized we had different taste in books. Either Tony Morrison is way over my head or I am way over hers. And I already knew how to eat, pray and love. Thanks anyway.
You used to come off as every woman’s best friend. You said you knew being a mom was the hardest job on earth. But you don’t have kids. You have maids and cooks and assistants. So you really don’t know. You became out of touch and too big to relate to the regular person. You think a $100 purse or blouse is a bargain. I decided I couldn’t really have a relationship with someone that has never shopped at Target.
And then there was the whole election. I knew we had different political views and that was fine. But then you really made it clear. You shoved it in my face. You even said you knew half the country did not agree with you but still wore your “Hope Won” t-shirt the day after the election. Like the rest of us did not have hope? I think we are just hoping for different things.
To be fair, I still Tivo you everyday. I watch if I find the topic interesting. But I have no qualms deleting if you are too high on your horse or talking about child molesters for the 1 millionth time. So I wasn’t really sad when you announced the end of your show. I think YOU can feel that a lot of women are feeling the same as I. Yesterday you announced your new prime-time interview show called “Oprah, the Next Chapter” or something narcissistic like that. Oprah, darling, I think that is a chapter I will skip.