molested at Target and no one was shot at Costco. But I did attempt to shop at Costco for the first time since the very controversial incident. I was running low on my new favorite chocolate covered blueberries, so clearly I had no choice. Not to mention the churro craving I could no longer ignore.
Everything seemed back to normal and the store was business as normal. I was making my regular counter clock-wise route around the store, putting things in my cart that were not on my list. I was almost done, event free when I spotted the sheet sets. We were down to one set of sheets for our Calif. King and these were actually on the list.
As I was starring down the sheet choices, an older man (older than me, say 50ish), non-creepy looking, was looking perplexed starring at the ladies underwear. He already had a cart full of socks and men's underwear. I tried to ignore him when he spoke.
Non-Creepy Man: My wife's not here and I'm out of my element (so glad he was admitting that). I am buying underwear for a ladies charity (sure you are). I need less fashionable and more serviceable.
Now I was this guys expert on ladies underwear. Great. Serviceable? Not fashionable? Funny and weird terms for underwear. Little did he know, in my mind "serviceable" underwear sounded a lot more dirty than fashionable. He was apparently embarrassed. Costco did not carry any underwear that would be the envy of the girls at the strip club. He had nothing to worry about. And because I am nothing if not charitable, I directed him to the packages of ladies underwear. I told him they were perfectly acceptable to donate to charity.
And trying not to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was, I tried to be nice.
Me being nice: Yea, you have a lot of socks and underwear there. That's very nice of you.
Yea I said something that lame and pushed my cart away. And I prayed that, that man's wife would not let him out alone, again. Especially if he was on an errand to buy ladies underwear.