Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Shift Work Disorder, a.k.a., MOTHERHOOD!

Science today loves putting a name on everything.   I heard about a "new" disorder yesterday called Shift Work Disorder.  It is caused when your body's sleep clock is thrown off by your work schedule. 

Symptoms include:

*Disrupted sleep schedule
*Difficulty in personal relationships
*Irritability or depressed mood
*Reduced work performance
*Sleepiness at work

Why do all those sound familiar?  Oh yea, it sounds like my life for the last 19 years, also known as MOTHERHOOD!  This is not a new disorder, just an unnamed one.  I think all mom's could be diagnosed with Shift Work Disorder.  Whether working outside the home or in the home, it is a 24/7 job.  But I think the newly named disorder is missing a few symptoms as far as moms are concerned.

These would include:

* Inability to sleep without reading Go Dog Go
* Insatiable appetite for chocolate. All. Day. Long.
* The ability to down 32 oz of Diet Coke before 10 a.m.
* Driving the kids to school, piano lessons, dentist, dance lessons, soccer and not ever remember doing it.
* Eating all day long without ever sitting down.
* Going to the grocery store daily and still have nothing for dinner.
* Playing Candyland and feeling competitive
* Using Yo Gabba Gabba as your exercise routine.
* Not wearing make-up or a bra all day long and calling it a fashion statement.  
* Choosing sleep over sex, or sleeping through sex.  Whatever works.  

This "disorder" has been around since Mother Eve and is not going anywhere.  And Mother's will keep pushing through with every tool in their arsenal that they can.  



Kristina P. said...

Excellent analogies, Linda!

Jocelyn Christensen said...

Amen, sister.

Meredith said...

and what do you take for this disorder called motherhood?! i guess the chocolate helps.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for taking the time to stop by and say hello on my special SITS day.

Robin said... yet another disorder with an acronym..aren't there enough already...and sleeping during sex..?...I never get to do that..he keeps waking me up...WTF...

Lisa said...

I love do we get some sort of government handout for having it? And who can we sue?

Anonymous said...

I knew there had to be a name for this disorder! Shift work a.k.a motherhood is hard sometimes. Too bad there is no shift differential pay to help compensate.

Karen Mortensen said...

Love this, love this. I think it could also be called being a 2nd grade teacher too.

Leanne said...

You are better then WebMD, lady! You've figured out my disease without even meeting me!!!

Love this post!

Cheeseboy said...

Your post has me laughing out loud and that doesn't happen very often.

I think my wife does all the above, except she drinks REAL Coke, not diet.

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, me too, I have this disorder-no cure either. love your additions, I needed that laugh.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Bwah ha ha! *sigh, wiping away the laugh tears*

I think I'm going to need a bigger arsenal!

Karen Mortensen said...

Would someone please tell me what the ____ is Yo Gabba Gabba or who? Don't judge me. I am 50 years old and have a 21 year old.

Lourie said...

Ahhh the diet coke and chocolate do go hand in hand don't they!? Hahaha. And it is so very true. All of it.

Sleep through sex. *snicker* I think I will have to try that.

Unknown said...

Hey there- Funny and oh so true! I love kicking butt in Candyland...:)

Reading Rosie said...

Slap me and call me a biscuit...that's just too funny!

Eve said...

As a mother of 6 myself this cracks me up. Thanks for the good laugh!

Unknown said...

laughing. can't stop. probably because of my sleep deprivation.

Charlotte said...

I have EVERY symptom you listed.

And, as my husband leaves right now to work an all night ER shift for a colleague who is sick, I can tell you shift work disorder stinks. For the worker and his wife who must live with him when he switches back to days.

My children have two disordered parents.


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